Please note this is just my thoughts written down so it may not make sense to anyone, I choose to share the journal entry because it may be helpful for others to know they’re not the only one struggling in their relationships with the Lord and other people around them.
I went from being a people pleaser to being a wimpy Christian that wouldn’t fight against sin, I always just went with the flow of things. It wasn’t until recently when I endured some hardship was I able to spiritually wake up and realize that I needed to fight for my soul because the devil wants to lay claim to it and my flesh side wants to give into the devils ways on the contrary my spirit wants to please God, and this is where I want to be in life living for God, but it comes with a price of pissing the devil off all the time as well my flesh side so I must fight to remain in the balance of living life through the spirit side since the spirit wants to please God. It isn’t easy at times to stand up and fight for what is right and I say this because recently I received some bad news and the first thing I thought about was getting drunk so I went out and bought the content to get drunk but when I started to drink the Holy Spirit convicted my heart and said why aren’t you fighting against this? I thought to myself at this point I had two choice continue to drink and get drunk as planned or dump the content and I sat there and battled within my mind for 10 minutes and after the 10 minutes I said Lord give me the strength to dump the content and the Holy Spirit replied the strength is within you already so I got up and dumped the content so the temptation could no longer have a hold over me. This just a recent example of the fighter coming out of me for the right purpose of living for God.