My Story Pt 2 The Beginning Road To Drifting Away More From God

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Shortly after I repeated the sinners prayer with the paramedic I arrived at the hospital while at the hospital I went into cardiac arrest, at this point I died and I was plunged into this tunnel where I could see the light of heaven but the light became more dim as I continue to fall away and I begun to feel my flesh melting so I screamed within my spirit

Lord if you are real then please save me

Shortly afterwards I saw this giant hand of light grab me and I was plunged back into my body. I remember the doctor saying it’s a miracle he’s alive with the kind of drugs in his system. I knew deep down it was a miracle because what I had experienced.  I do believe to this day that paramedic praying over me was by no accident but a divine intervention by God I say this because the paramedic told me call upon Jesus and He’ll save you.

That is exactly what I did and here I’m to tell my story. Unfortunately an couple days wen’t by and I had suffered brain damage from the drugs I took and I became mad at God again. So I vowed I wouldn’t live for Him and I became a satanist months later. I became a satanist because I knew satan hated God and we both had that in common. I witness a lot of spiritual things being a satanist and it drew me in deeper. I mean I witness things on a spiritual level that proved to me satan was very real to me because of the stuff I witness. After a while I grew tired of the satan worshiping and I feel away from practicing satanism, but I still hated God at the time.

My heart grew colder as each day come about and then in my late 20’s my dad had a stroke now my dad didn’t believe in God and after his first stroke he told me the following.

I am now a believing Christian because I saw first hand the mercy of Jesus upon my soul.

I hated God even more at this point because why should Jesus show mercy to a earthly father that tortured me daily. I felt more abandon by God at this point and I set out to prove my dad wrong about his new stance with believing Jesus was real, but the more I was around my dad the more I noticed an change in him, it was on a high level of spiritual my dad was an changed man because of God and I hated God even more for it.

Every year for my birthday my dad would give me money and one year my dad decided to give me a bible because my dad felt the Lord leading him to do so. I have to admit I was mad as all get out too. I went home and threw the bible in a box and forgot about it. A few short years later my dad passed away and his final words were “I can Only Imagine

I asked my dad what he meant by those words and my dad replied I can only imagine what my fathers face will be like in heaven as I praise Him. I became mad and told my dad he was full of it and that his so called God would desert him in the long run. My dad simply replied that it wasn’t true because he could sense the presence of Jesus getting ready to call him home and a few short hours later my dad passed away. There was a total 180 degree change in my dad after his first stroke and my dad lead many to Christ through his Christ like actions on a daily basis.  So many people that I didn’t even know came to the funeral to speak their testimony how my dad lead them to Christ. But the one person my dad couldn’t reach was his own son which was (me)

An couple years later I & Bella had to move and while unpacking at the new place Bella found the dust covered bible my dad had given me and I randomly open the bible to Jeremiah 29:11 I thought God was being cruel because my dad would always break his promises and then meanly say promises are a boulevard of broken promises get use to it son. I became very angered at God because I thought God was playing an very cruel joke on me after my dad had passed away not so many years before. I was on the verge of suicide again and while on the city bus I tested God and said if you are real and you do care about me then prove it because when I get back home I will kill myself.

Little did I know God was preparing another Christian to enter my life and as the day approached the end this lady asked me how my day was and I broke into tears and she replied you are the one that God has a message for and she told me things about myself that I knew only God would know because she was a complete stranger to me. She also lead me along with the sinners prayer and while praying she started to speak against the angel of of death and pretty much said that the angel of death could no longer oppress me because I was a chosen child of God and that Jesus paid in full for my sins.

I went home later that day and talked to Bella about what had happen and we both fell to our knees asking the Lord for forgiveness. I realized right then and there God did use my dad to reach me on a spiritual level I was just too blinded at the time to see it.  needless to say I didn’t try to kill myself instead I just cried all night and partly into the next day. I was starting to come around and really see the Love God and His Son Jesus Christ had for me. 🙂

To Be Continued

 

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2 comments

  1. Wow, It’s seems like you’ve had a really rough journey in your life but praise God, you found God in the midst of your trials and tribulations. It isn’t easy to see the light shining at the end of a dark tunnel, but the most important thing to remember is that the light still shines in all that darkness and even darkness can’t shut out that light which is found in God’s word. He is the Life, the Truth and the Way when there seems to be no way. God bless you and continue to seek God even in the midst of your trials and tribulations, He will never forsake you.

    Sherline.

    Liked by 1 person

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