My last post titled An Open Letter To My Dad was therapeutic so I talked to my wife about writing an open letter to my ex-wife since she has caused me so much pain almost 20 yrs ago. My wife Bella, thought it would be a great idea to release that pain forgive and move forward in our marriage.
Dear Ex-wife I want you to know before I push forward with writing this blog post that I forgive you and I take blame for my end of things in the marriage we had together.
Dear Ex-wife I loved you with all my heart and yet it blinded me, to the fact I was just your mark and I fell for your con. The great amount of pain you caused me, devastated me to the point I tried to commit suicide.I am thankful for the support God had provided me during my time of need. When I found out you were cheating on me, I was still willing to forgive you and move forward with our marriage, but you decided that stepping out was the way to go in life and you told me that you were going to continue seeing other men. We separated and you moved out and moved in with another man. I prayed to God daily that if He would allow you to come home I would try my best to forgive you and be the husband you deserved.
You did come home after a few months but you had worked out another con for me to fall for again, and of course I did fall for your newest con, you moved back in and had me believing that you were done seeing other men…I admit I allowed the blinders to stay in place because I had previously endured so much pain from you, and I wanted to believe you were sorry for your hurtful actions… It’s been almost 20 yrs and I still remember the party we went to at your sisters house like it was yesterday. I believe that I remember it so well, because that is where you caused the greatest pain of all time to me.
I remember you poured me a mixed drink but you also slipped some drugs in the drink as well and after I had passed out the other men took turns hitting me while they waited their turn to have sex with you as well your sister. You and your sister had it all planned out I know because you admitted to it weeks later and It ended up emotionally breaking me at that point and I beat you up. I am sorry after this many years for losing control of myself but a person can only endure so much pain before they break and you admitted to me that it was your goal to break me. you broke me beyond measure and I have had a hard time recovering from such pain that it now affects my current marriage, I try my best to trust but trust just doesn’t come that easy for me anymore because of what happen between us.
I could write a long list of everything that went wrong in our marriage but I will spare the details and just say I befriended you on Facebook about 3 yrs ago and tried to let you know that I forgave you and your reply was “leave the past in the past or I will unfriend you via Facebook,” so I inquired about why you were acting like if nothing ever happen and you simply stated you felt you did nothing wrong and that you were a victim. When I tried to discuss with you the cheating aspect you dismissed it like it was no big deal and that I should’ve gotten over it…But how does someone move forward from something that severe?.
I want you to know I forgive you and I have prayed that the Lord almighty will have mercy on you, I know it’s the opposite you think I should or would do, but I serve a mighty God, that instructs me to forgive, pray for, and love my enemies. I have chalked up our experience up to the fact we we’re both young adults and that we both had a lot of emotional baggage and that we had a hard time sifting through most of our emotional baggage… I want you to know that I have learned a lot from this experience between us and it has helped me become a better person as well a better husband towards my current wife Bella, I hold no more harsh feelings toward you and my hopes are if you haven’t already that you find the mercy and love from the same God, I serve and that you’ll fall in-love with God and embrace His love for you.
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Thanks again and God Bless.
Teck, & Bella,