Sometimes You Have To Forgive Yourself


By Teck,

Well, it’s not best to look upon your past to the point that it hurts or destroys you. But sometimes you have to look back to see where you were to see where you stand today. So that is what I’m going to do. I’m going to reflect and my hopes it displays God’s mighty powers to change and heal us, if we’re willing to allow change to happen in our lives.

2015 thru 2016 I was a mess I was at the point where I sat on the fence because I wanted to live for God, but I wanted it on my terms. Let me clue you in “it doesn’t work” you just end up becoming a lukewarm Christian.

Revelation 3:16 ►
So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

I was hurting my testimony around others, I say this because people would see a person (meaning me) that wasn’t rooted into the Word of God, and instead was wavering his faith back and forth because of doubt.

James 1:6 ►
But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

Towards the end months of 2016 I decided I couldn’t live my life like this anymore and allow my faith to waver back and forth. I needed to forgive myself as well the people that have hurt me over the years as well as of recently. I had to start there to move forward and then I needed to repent for my sins while living a double life and for doubting God. I had decided at this point moving into the current year (2017) I was going to need to be on my toes and become a real “Soulja 4 Christ” no more double life standards and no more doubting.  God has taken the doubting aspect this year and has challenged it. I say this because the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me that I was going to have to have faith like a (bold lion) towards the end of 2016 I walked through some stuff that did shake my faith a bit and I begin to doubt, but God has made it quite clear through the Holy Spirit that I was going to walk through tougher situations this year and that I couldn’t doubt like Peter, did when he stepped out of the boat.


I have witness God, move mountains with just a mustard size seed of faith last year and I am moving forward this year being more confident that God has my back no matter what happens in my life. During the year of 2016 I was a mess in many ways and as I look at myself now on this current day, I have come to realize that the Lord was working in my life I just couldn’t see it mostly because God, choose to do the work behind closed curtains, granted I did notice some changes right away but for the most part it was more about letting go of my old identity the identity that others had created for me, and embrace the identity God, has chosen for me.  once I was able to let go I was able to start healing from the pain within and allow Jesus’s blood to cleanse me in a sense that I could accept I was forgiven and loved by God.

Moral of my post is this! I went from living a double life standard while doubting God, every time something didn’t go my way, to embracing God, and accepting His love for me. What I am trying to convey here is God, is willing to meet you where you stand in life right now and He’s willing to work with you, you just have to become willing to follow the promptings from the Holy Spirit so the process of change and healing can begin in your life today.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Starter Prayer:

Father, in Heaven I am sorry for my sins and I repent from them meaning I will cease from continuing those sinful habits. Lord, I invite you to meet me where I stand in life right now and accept your help to help me change and heal in your precious name Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.



      • What right do we have to hold against others a sin that God has forgiven?…or even against ourselves?

        Hello Brandon Adams, I agree we have no right to not forgive others and hold their sins against them or not forgive ourselves…I learned the hard way that answer, because I was a prisoner by the bitterness I held onto for many years. Now that I have chosen to forgive I feel like the weight of bitterness has been lifted off my shoulders and I try my best now to forgive right away so the bitterness doesn’t have a chance to settle back in.

        Liked by 1 person

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