Please note these are past pretense feelings I have since reignited my relationship with the Lord all mighty. 🙂 -Bella
Wow it been a long time since I’ve been on here to write. Sorry I have been busy and I have been taking care of things in my life. I was thinking about how my life has changed I mean I have a husband and wonderful in-laws and still feel like something was missing. As I look back I realized that I did not have God in my life like I did growing up and before I got married I guess I thought I did not need Him anymore and I could do all of it on my own. Boy was I wrong I needed Him more now then I thought. I needed Him to take the wheel and drive for me not the other way around. I thought as I was sitting in church one day why do I even need to come, why even wast my time here then I got this kicked in the butt feeling, heard a small voice say you need to be here and be feed my word so you won’t be lost to me forever. So I sat down, stayed listening to our pastor talk about his childhood, how he was growing up learning and loving the Lord.
You know you hear the pastor say that if you do not try you will never be the person that God has in mind for you. I thought okay if that is true then why do anything. I thought I had everything fixed in my life but I didn’t. I needed God in my life and I am not going to say that He is a lie anymore. Because if you do not have God in your life then how do you know that what you are doing is the right thing for you in God’s eye’s. Because you may say that God wants you to do one thing and that is not what He wants you to do. It’s like if you think about it in a way you’re not suppose to do what you want over God’s will it would be like ” To gain the whole word and lose your soul” like Toby Mac says in the song below. I know I want to keep what I have but to tell you the truth I would like having everything that will be given to me in heaven and know that it is safe, it will not be taken like it is down here on earth. Jesus said “why store your treasure down here on earth when you can store your treasure in heaven. I thought about that, thought Jesus’s right what kind of riches is waiting for me I like to know, but more importantly I rather store the nuggets of treasures God places upon my heart as I grow closer to Him.
Mine and my wife’s hopes are by reading about my wife’s struggle will spark hope in you that you’re really not lost in God’s eye’s and that you can start fresh with him, even if you strayed away from Him. -Teck & -Bella
God Bless Fam. 🌱