I’m writing this post in hopes it will encourage someone that yes God can heal you if you’re willing to let go…
Many know I use to suffer from sexual lust and in my opinion it was bad, I say this because I couldn’t look at a woman without lusting after her… It didn’t matter if it was a TV show, advertisement of a female on a billboard etc I would lust, it got to the point I was asking for forgiveness multiple times a day while feeling ashamed that I couldn’t get past the sinful stronghold. This sinful habit was linked to my old identity and I had a hard time letting it go until the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I tried to let go of the sinful habit for many years and I just kept taking it back, because I associated it with my identity of whom I thought I was, but on the other hand Jesus was trying to tell me I was a new creation through Him since I had asked Him into my life back in 2011, but I wasn’t really ready to trust Jesus through faith until recently when I decided to move through faith and not by sight.
You see the hardest part for me was letting go of who I thought I was compared to whom Jesus knew I could become through Him. Fam I’m not trying to condemn anyone here for I totally get the struggle of wanting to let go, but actually keep fighting back to let go… What helped me the most was taking a leap of faith knowing I could fall, but instead believing God would teach me how to soar through the sky.
That is exactly what God did He taught me how to fly, but my faith didn’t fully kick in at that point either because I was still skeptical to trust, because I have trusted others for so long and in return I have become hurt by their betrayal. I had a hard time separating God from the trust pool that was full of disappointments… The Holy Spirit on a daily basis would try to reassure me that Jesus, wouldn’t betray me, oh I so wanted to believe the Holy Spirit, but I still had a hard time getting past the past hurts I endured. When I finally became determine to let go of my past identity doors begin to open while others begin to shut for good… For example recently the Lord shut the door on the stronghold of sexual lust and it was because I finally was able to let go and once I let go for good God slammed the door shut so I couldn’t have second thoughts of taking the sinful habit back for God, knows I have gone that route to many times before.
Even though the Lord, slammed the door I have to remain conscious that those old triggers, can become triggered again if I’m not vigilant against those triggers… It’s now about removing myself from situational triggers as while seeking scripture as well prayer in those times of needing counsel from the Lord Jesus Christ. For the longest time I associated myself as a recovering sex addict. Most anti porn sites will label the persons a ex or recovering porn addict or sex addict, but the Holy Spirit revealed to me that by labeling yourself in that manner you begin to diminish the true healing powers of Jesus Christ.
The Holy Spirit told me the following
Holy Spirit spoke to me and said to stop calling myself a recovering sex addict, because when the Lord cleanse you of something He cleans all residue of the sin. The Holy Spirit conveyed to me, by calling myself a recovering sex addict I’m not just associating myself to the past me, I’m also allowing such behavioral habits to linger into my future through association…
Fam, It really starts with accepting that what you cannot change you’ll need to turn over to the Lord for victory to be achieved. God, so wants to walk you into the future you, but He cannot if you’re not willing to let go of the past… The past serves as a anchor that will weigh you down in the long run while you slowly drown, you have to be willing to accept the Lords hand and grasp it while letting go of the anchor of your past identity.