Journal Entry For 8/19/16

Please note this post may not make sense for my thoughts are all over the place today.


I must admit I almost threw the towel in, because I haven’t discovered my true purpose here on earth and being inpatient I wanted to know on my own terms and time table, then God, directed me to a post and after reading it I was convinced to surrender to God’s timing,that doesn’t mean I can not set out to try and discover what drives my passion, because behind that passion will be the key to my calling… I do know my passion was writing when I was a teenager and I abused that gift and passion by being the grammar police among others teasing them for their lack of grammar or writing skills, then one day I took an overdose and suffered brain damage and it affects my grammar and writing skills to this day and I lost the passion of writing because now it feels like a chore…

I cannot help but to fall back on the fact it once was a passion of mine, to the point I wanted to be in the field of journalism, I know deep down God can restore the talent of writing with good grammar, so the issue doesn’t lie there, the issue I find is would I abuse it again if God restored that passion and skilled gift within me. I would like to think I wouldn’t for I have matured since my teenage years…

One of my strong spiritual gifts is teaching and I can convey my words better in writing compared to speaking them, so I cannot help but think that my calling is to teach through writing, I do fear I will fail God and yes I know the bible does say do not fear, but being a human being I do encounter road blocks I must rely on God and my obedience to Him too get past those road blocks which is currently fear.




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