Yes I Was Addicted To Porn

  • Please not this is a journal entry for self reflect many years from now.

It’s true I was once addicted to Porn, and it ruined my image of women being human beings with feelings. My addiction started pre-teens and lasted well into my 30s. It almost cost me my marriage as well. I’m thankful I have a forgiving wife, that also prays for me as well! Of course we talked about my feelings and emotions pertaining to Porn and how it affected me. I also went through therapy to discover the deeper root of the addiction and I found out that because of the lack of paternal love, the view of love became distorted for me and I begin to view women as sexual objects and never really respected them as an equal through God.

My lust for women grew over the years and I begun to not respect myself nor others. I hid my addiction for years and I didn’t come clean until I cheated on my wife. I knew at this point I had gone to far with the addiction, I say this because the appetite was never satisfied I was always hungry for more sexual lust. I know I should’ve of seen the warning signs before the affair, but I allowed the blinders to remain on, it wasn’t until I saw the hurt in my wife’s eyes did I begin to consider the damage I was causing. I guess we tend to be as human naive to the fact our actions hurt others when we think what we’re doing is harmless, but is it really harmless? I mean when you watch Porn you drive the demand for sexual slaves now I’m not saying all sex actors are slaves of some sorts, no but there is such a high demand that women do become forced into the industry and a percentage is by choice. I guess if I view Porn in this aspect then I begin to see the deeper damage my appetite has fueled and how it is damaging towards others. It’s also damaging to my soul to sexually lust after women because the Bible states I’m committing adultery in my heart with the women I lust after. 

Prayer: Dear Lord, I come before you with a humble heart and admit I have an appetite for sexual lust I ask of you Lord Jesus, to search my heart and clean the impurities within my heart, so my heart can become a heart that is pleasing to you Lord. Lord this journal entry is my cry for help and my way to admit I have an addiction issue that needs to be fixed and a heart that needs to be healed in your name Lord Jesus, amen.


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