I can remember like it was yesterday, the year was 2011 and the month was July. I was sitting on the city bus, thinking to myself how much I wanted to die, they say that the ones that warn of suicide are usually seeking help. I was just the opposite I kept the feeling to myself and as I sat on the bus I thought of quick ways to die. Then out of no where I heard my name in my head it was a faint whisper, I said God is that you calling my name and another whisper replied yes. So out of anger I snapped what do you want with me God, and another whisper come to my mind “surrender” to me because I love you.
As I sat there for another five minutes I broke down and silently prayed Lord if you really love me then stop these suicide thoughts. I then said Lord if you really care about me come into my life and rescue me… When I got off the city bus I headed to my appointment and wonder did God hear my prayer? because if not I will be dead by later that day. when I reached the building my appoint was at the person I was scheduled to see asked me “how has your day been” this simple question broke me into tears and as I cried the person said to me, “God heard your prayer on the bus” huh how do know that I asked? confused and ready for an answer the person replied I got up today and prayed like I normally do and the Lord said to me, ask everyone how their day has been so far and the one that cry’s is the very person I have a message for.
I knew deep down they had no way of knowing I prayed a simple sinners prayer, because the people on the bus didn’t even know, then the person prayed to God asking for the message and the massage was the following.
Son I heard your prayer and saw your surrender, you are free from the suicidal thoughts plaguing your mind. Go home today as a new man, because the Holy Spirit resides within you and has started the change process.
I have to admit I was blown away how God used someone to convey that message to me, needless to say I didn’t commit suicide and I know write for the kingdom of Heaven, because of the Power of the Holy Spirit; the very Holy Spirit that raise Jesus from the grave.