Just Surrender (My Short Testimony)

Journal Entry 10/14/15 -1700
Side note this would have been my second suicide attempt, my first attempt did briefly take my life.

I can remember like it was yesterday, the year was 2011 and the month was July. I was sitting on the city bus, thinking to myself how much I wanted to die, they say that the ones that warn of suicide are usually seeking help. I was just the opposite I kept the feeling to myself and as I sat on the bus I thought of quick ways to die. Then out of no where I heard my name in my head it was a faint whisper, I said God is that you calling my name and another whisper replied yes. So out of anger I snapped what do you want with me God, and another whisper come to my mind “surrender” to me because I love you.

As I sat there for another five minutes I broke down and silently prayed Lord if you really love me then stop these suicide thoughts. I then said Lord if you really care about me come into my life and rescue me… When I got off the city bus I headed to my appointment and wonder did God hear my prayer? because if not I will be dead by later that day. when I reached the building my appoint was at the person I was scheduled to see asked me “how has your day been” this simple question broke me into tears and as I cried the person said to me, “God heard your prayer on the bus” huh how do know that I asked? confused and ready for an answer the person replied I got up today and prayed like I normally do and the Lord said to me, ask everyone how their day has been so far and the one that cry’s is the very person I have a message for.

I knew deep down they had no way of knowing I prayed a simple sinners prayer, because the people on the bus didn’t even know, then the person prayed to God asking for the message and the massage was the following.

Son I heard your prayer and saw your surrender, you are free from the suicidal thoughts plaguing your mind. Go home today as a new man, because the Holy Spirit resides within you and has started the change process.

I have to admit I was blown away how God used someone to convey that message to me, needless to say I didn’t commit suicide and I know write for the kingdom of Heaven, because of the Power of the Holy Spirit; the very Holy Spirit that raise Jesus from the grave.



  1. Wow such a testimony. Been close myself over the years wanting to walk away from the world. But now even with what I am going through I have too much to live for. Friends that have supported my through this and not asked for anything in return. The power of God in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello: bjsscribbles, Satan sees the potential you have for the Kingdom of Heaven. satan is surely afraid of what your calling is through Christ… God is great and you acknowledging that in your life is a start of victory… 🙂 Hang in there my friend because what God allowing you to go through is like a furnace to refine and purify you, I went through a session in my life a couple years ago crying and not knowing why it was emotionally and physically painful at times and the Lord replied I’m souljafying you my dear child.

      Isaiah 48:10
      “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.


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