This Post is going to reflect me in a bad lighting but my hopes are my honesty and struggles will help others in the long run. I am Writing this conversation because the Lord asked me too.
Lord: Son, are you there? it’s been a hour since I last called for you!.
Teck: Yes I am Here, what is it Lord?
Lord: Who You Represent?
Lord: Teck You haven’t been yourself so, Who you represent?
Teck: Lord, That’s the thing my writing represents you, but my lifestyle does not behind closed doors…Lord I am allowing the fear of certain circumstances come between you and I, and instead of turning to you, I’ve turned to getting high daily, to take the edge off.
Lord: Son, I have noticed? 😦 The future I foresee you in is not this bad off running from me, your truly loving father. Son, please turn your addiction of getting high daily over to me. 😉 I will provide a body high with my love that no drug on earth can match against.
Teck: Lord, I am so sorry I have allowed it to get to this level of a break in our relationship. 😦 I should’ve trusted you for scripture states so.
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Teck: Lord I acted like I wasn’t important enough for you to take care of regardless the circumstances I am facing… Yes I turned from the addiction of porn when I get stressed for another addiction of getting high to forget my problems. Lord I am so sorry I can feel when I am high that I am not in the right frame of mind to worship you with my actions. So instead I am representing my own desires over yours. 😦 It’s like I am breathing in the American Oxygen and Not breathing in the oxygen breathed out your mouth into words.
It’s like I am not chasing after my God given dream but instead I am chasing after what I use to have called the American dream…Lord I have come to the point of blending in with non Christians, and that is not good because I am not representing you Lord. 😦
Lord: Yes, Son, exactly you’re are feeling the waves of the old waiting pool and experiencing life from a sinful aspect. Son, I have could you to the river of life and have offered for you to drink from the river of life, but you have refused lately and now you’re dying from within because of it.
◄ Matthew 9:17 ►
Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”
Son, this parable talks about not adding new to old. So you cannot mix your old lifestyle with your God given lifestyle referred to as Christianity. Son, I need you to step out in your faith and trust me that I will do right by you. There is a spiritual warfare going on in your mind and when you get high you allow the influence of the drugs to drive your thoughts instead of being sober sound minded. Right now you are waving to and fro and are hurting your testimony of how I can change and heal you from within. Turn from the temptation for it is already over, for I have conquered all sins.
Teck: Lord, I surrender this drug addiction over to you please forgive me, for choosing to try and mix my old lifestyle with my new lifestyle through Christ for comfort. I know I am not perfect but I choose to get high daily, I forgive myself for slipping away from you Lord and for being disobedient to your calling upon my life. Lord please help me gain redemption out of all this so I can represent Glory to your kingdom. Amen.
Lord: Son you’re forgiven now move forth through your faith instead of getting high. 🙂
A future post will be added at a later time giving an update pertaining to my will to change
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Thanks again and God Bless.
Teck, & Bella,